Good Bye 2017 !


If I had to describe 2017 with only one word, it would be: HELL. I think, that year has been the worse ever! I’ve read on social media and/or some blogs, that I wasn’t the only one who that past year has been hard.
Lucky for me (or not in this case), I have a good memory. So let’s take a look at what 2017 looked like.
I decided to start the year with a few rules other than resolutions.
First, stay single. After a disastrous 2016 with relationships, I decided it was time to think about me and only ME. Time to reflect on what went wrong, what I truly wanted in a relationship and did not want, and mostly, it was time to gain that self-esteem, jerks had been hitting so damn hard for the past couple of years.
Second rule: take care of my mental and physical health. Even if my doctor never diagnosed me with generalized anxiety, I knew I had it anyway, and my priority was to take care of it.

Actually, those were the only rules for the year. Look quite simple right? Well, it didn’t go as planned (where would the “fun” otherwise?).
Health went back, physically and mentally. Depression hit like a bitch, and I stopped working for quite some time. Anxiety has been dragging me to hell as well. Took me some time and some amazing support (thanks to the 3 persons at work who helped!) to realize my boss’ harassment for the past two years was the reason I was now in this condition (I was born with the wrong genital parts… Can you imagine that in the 21st century?!).

By the end of August, I was out of my job. I just couldn’t take it anymore. My health was more important than my job (even if I loved it, and was good at it!). Even if for some people, having no job is shameless, I really don’t care. My health is now my first priority, and will always be.
Friendship and 2017… What can I say? I got actually surprised! I made some good friends, (thank my last workplace for it!). I didn’t know you could meet someone and be friend with her, and had that feeling that you’ve known her for like ever! By July/August, my friends circle grew up a little bit, and thanks to her for that.

By September, I was having my last session with my psychologist, and even if I was a bit sad to not see her again, I was feeling much better. My self-esteem was back in the game. I knew who I was, what was my personality like, and I knew that I would never let someone else tell me that I am basically nothing, that my hobbies are shit… (the list could go on, but that’s what happen when you date a psycho, narcissistic, and manipulative person).
I had opened my blog, started to work on some projects I had in mind for some years. And, most importantly, my fantasy novel was done! Well, the first draft of it… But still! It was such an accomplishment for me! I was (and still am) proud of myself.
Then, destiny put back one of my exes on my path. And yet, it made the end of the year quite a challenge, but I managed to go through it... with some scratches, yes… But I survived, and I’m ready to do it again if needed. I know now how to handle this situation so the end would be different.

December had been a conflicted month. Some part of the previous challenge happened during this month (the hardest part of it actually). But yet, in this nightmare, I got closed to some other friends, and I’m quite grateful for that.

Let’s hope that 2018 will be much better!

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